2nd June - Actualization

Went to Vincent's house today to do homework. I hadn't seen him in quite a while. Apparently he was trying to resist sleep so he could set his body clock back, and he was quite happy I arrived to keep him up because he was on the verge of collapsing into slumber alone HAHAHA

We talked a lot. We always talk a lot when we're together. I talked about my school friends, then we contemplated life, shared analyses, watched Table Talk, tried some Table Talk of our own, went over our bucket lists, shared that we both want to find romance but both of us being 'Thinkers' rather than 'Feelers', achieving that was difficult. Because us Thinkers need reasons to feel a certain way. We have reasons we are happy or sad or angry. Same for love. That's why the concept of unconditional love is so difficult to come to us because that's a feeling thing. Something you just... feel.

Overall it was fun to chat with my best friend all over again. I've been hitting a bit of an identity crisis because with every clique I'm in, I change personalities so drastically it scares me. But with Vince, I can be myself. The pondering, intellectual, analytical me, and he can be the same. Perhaps I got influenced by him as we hung out. Or maybe we hung out in the first place because we were both like this. How we became best friends was so strange. Vincent was the super popular guy. And yet he started to hang out with me because he wanted out of the scene, and he said back then he found me cool. Wow, I was a nerdy otaku boy back then. Yet I'm so flattered, ahahaha. We've both changed a lot since then, and he's proved to me that the Realization of Self really exists for everyone. He calls is Self Actualization, but it meant the same thing.

My day was ruined when I couldn't get out of work to go out on the June 8th outing planned since way back. Such a bummer. I feel guilty for working so few days but my meetings with people really are much more important to me than earning money :( At least Vincent might be joining me at work soon, maybe. Hooray!