Okay I shouldn't really be posting since I'm kinda tipsy right now, but heck I'm still sane enough to write so...
I didn't talk about yesterday cos' all I did the whole day mostly was me coughing and hacking. Apparently I caught a bug that's like a phlegmy cough and it's just a bit more resistant and harder to get rid of.
Today I went to Darren's house for his 'party'. Turns out it was enough me again. So we played S4 and watched House until Jun and Kenji arrived pretty late. Then we ate and played Soul Calibur. It's a lot more fun than just with the two of us, hahaha! Jun's quite cute though, even though she's not a looker at first glance. Now kinda I see why guys fancy her so much. Pity we had to leave really soon after. I reached home, and then my mom asked if I wanna come down to a pub to drink with her friends and my cousin Kevin. Apparently he's so wasted he was telling stories and shit, and I had to see that, so I took a cab down.
I was greeted by my relatives real drunk like and shit. My aunt dragged me in and screamed into my ear while her best friend was trying to strike up sober, regular conversation with me. And then Kevin came over and dragged me over to his side repeatedly telling me that he got permission from my mom to get me wasted, before being dragged back by my aunt. I had no idea what to do. Hahaha. I downed a glass of beer, then another, then a tequila shot (man these things are nasty. I didn't even get the lime that's supposed to go with it. Still, I think vodka was worse). Then two more glasses of beer as chasers. Then one more tequila shot. Then one more beer. I didn't feel anything at first. It only hit me on the ride home. It's... not that different I suppose. Most significantly, I feel slightly slowly. Reaction's slower. Hearing's slower. Sight focus is slower. I'm a lot more talkative, and slightly more forgetful. And I'm swaying. Even though I'm pretty sure my logic is still fine. I think. Cousins said if I don't wake up with a hangover tomorrow, it's proof I'm a tank. Can't wait.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
26th December - Project X
Went out of the house today, supposed to watch Rurouni Kenshin finally with Darren, Phoebe and my sister, but we found out that the next showing was at 7pm, and we couldn't bother to wait for 5 hours. So we departed for Kevin's house, where I introduced both of them to my really forward Caucasian relatives.
There isn't actually much to do at his house, so we ended up going down to the Fun Room downstairs, where the arcade games, although ancient, are free. Spent a good hour or so there mashing through games before we returned upstairs and watched 21 Jump Street and Project X with Kevin, Daniel and Michelle.
Oh Project X is soooo fucked up. At first, the premise was kind of interesting. Planning a house party and stuff. And it actually succeeding. Then a good bulk of the movie after that was just tits and sex over and over and over and over again. Even though I'm a guy I still got bored really fast. I really wanted to find out what happens in the end.
We left for home promptly afterwards. Uncle David didn't like the idea of Kevin letting us taste his liquors.
Seems like I've been teasing Darren a bit too much today. I called him a molester and a pedo, although they were just exaggerations. He had been getting really touchy, especially with Phoebe, so I thought I should point that out to him. But I guess he didn't take it very well, being compared to a guy we know who's a scumbag and a serial pedophile. Still, I didn't mean bad :(
I gotta learn to watch my words. Sometimes I may be a bit too frank, but I've never actually wanted to intentionally offend anyone.
Uh... Then again, no one does...
There isn't actually much to do at his house, so we ended up going down to the Fun Room downstairs, where the arcade games, although ancient, are free. Spent a good hour or so there mashing through games before we returned upstairs and watched 21 Jump Street and Project X with Kevin, Daniel and Michelle.
Oh Project X is soooo fucked up. At first, the premise was kind of interesting. Planning a house party and stuff. And it actually succeeding. Then a good bulk of the movie after that was just tits and sex over and over and over and over again. Even though I'm a guy I still got bored really fast. I really wanted to find out what happens in the end.
We left for home promptly afterwards. Uncle David didn't like the idea of Kevin letting us taste his liquors.
Seems like I've been teasing Darren a bit too much today. I called him a molester and a pedo, although they were just exaggerations. He had been getting really touchy, especially with Phoebe, so I thought I should point that out to him. But I guess he didn't take it very well, being compared to a guy we know who's a scumbag and a serial pedophile. Still, I didn't mean bad :(
I gotta learn to watch my words. Sometimes I may be a bit too frank, but I've never actually wanted to intentionally offend anyone.
Uh... Then again, no one does...
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
25th December - Merry Christmas!
Oh right, the world didn't end! Disappointing that actually nothing happened at all though. A meteorite or something would've been cool.
Kevin and Daniel came back to Singapore to celebrate Christmas with us! Kevin's staying for good this time. On the mom's side, I didn't actually do much, hahaha. I watched MIB3 again while eating there. Then I downed a can of beer and a little bit of Moscato. Some chatting with Kevin, Daniel and Gabriel, as per usual. Kevin regaling us with his stories from New Zealand and stuff. Man, how is he so charismatic *_*
After the New Zealander's Hakka performance, I was made to dance with my baby cousin Aaron to Gangnam Style. Gaaaah, how embarrassing. Even the usually shameless NZ cousins stopped too and left me there. OTL There was a gift exchange thingy, but I didn't really get anything I really really liked, so I just traded with a whole bunch of people just for the kick of... trading. The rest of the time I was trying to talk to Angie and Fiona. Which was kinda awkward cos' it seemed like I was trying to hit on my cousins. But I WASN'T. I was just trying. To get them to socialize more. Instead of sitting there. Also I just enjoy the company of pretty girls. Shush don't judge me.
Then to the other side of the family, where I had my first taste of Red Wine.Which is TERRIBLE. Oh god, why do people like this stuff? I thought since it's made from grapes, it'd taste kinda sweet, but it's a harsh sour-bitter taste. It's disgusting! Every alcohol is disgusting at first though, I guess. The aunts on this side seem really curious about my lack of a love life because apparently I'm considered 'gentlemanly' to them (well of course I mean I'm a gentleman and all =w=) and well, compared to the other ah beng cousin who seems to get all the ladies' attention. Hm. I wonder why too.
Christmas loot isn't that satisfying this year, but it actually seems like I grow less easily satisfied every year...
Kevin and Daniel came back to Singapore to celebrate Christmas with us! Kevin's staying for good this time. On the mom's side, I didn't actually do much, hahaha. I watched MIB3 again while eating there. Then I downed a can of beer and a little bit of Moscato. Some chatting with Kevin, Daniel and Gabriel, as per usual. Kevin regaling us with his stories from New Zealand and stuff. Man, how is he so charismatic *_*
After the New Zealander's Hakka performance, I was made to dance with my baby cousin Aaron to Gangnam Style. Gaaaah, how embarrassing. Even the usually shameless NZ cousins stopped too and left me there. OTL There was a gift exchange thingy, but I didn't really get anything I really really liked, so I just traded with a whole bunch of people just for the kick of... trading. The rest of the time I was trying to talk to Angie and Fiona. Which was kinda awkward cos' it seemed like I was trying to hit on my cousins. But I WASN'T. I was just trying. To get them to socialize more. Instead of sitting there. Also I just enjoy the company of pretty girls. Shush don't judge me.
Then to the other side of the family, where I had my first taste of Red Wine.Which is TERRIBLE. Oh god, why do people like this stuff? I thought since it's made from grapes, it'd taste kinda sweet, but it's a harsh sour-bitter taste. It's disgusting! Every alcohol is disgusting at first though, I guess. The aunts on this side seem really curious about my lack of a love life because apparently I'm considered 'gentlemanly' to them (well of course I mean I'm a gentleman and all =w=) and well, compared to the other ah beng cousin who seems to get all the ladies' attention. Hm. I wonder why too.
Christmas loot isn't that satisfying this year, but it actually seems like I grow less easily satisfied every year...
Flashback - Back in Singapore
Vincent left for Hong Kong the day after I came back from Hong Kong. Lollll shitty coincidences.
Over the past few days I've spent quite a fair bit of time with Darren. Went jamming with only me, Andy, and him with his two friends. Went out to eat. Went to his house for his supposed 'Christmas Party' but it was really only me. And we ended up playing his driving simulator game and me introducing him to S4 League. And when we talk we mostly joke about Tommy and his terrible living habits. Tommy's a great guy. Damn fun to be with. But man, how he lives on his own could put even hobos to shame. That topic ends up as the butt of a lot of jokes between us XD
I also met Felicia in person again! Which is rare, despite the fact she's my other best friend. Although in a different way from Vincent. Recently she's been having some worries about boyfriends and guys. Which is odd, because before she didn't really express that much interest in the opposite sex. She denies it, but I think she's been considering getting a boyfriend. And so I've to ride her erratic thought train as she spills her worries onto me. Like what kind of guy would suit her. Or why guys don't go after her even though she's pretty. And it got me to thinking about the kind of girl I would get too.
I'd think that probably I'm not the kind of boyfriend that's super devoted. Those that message 'good morning darling <3 <3' and 'good night sweetie <3 <3' every day. I don't think I could stand such an insignificant chore. I'm more of the casual relationship guy I think. Being able to act more like friends than lovers. I can be romantic, just only at select times. But every other time I'm casual. I like to joke. I like to poke fun. I don't want to constantly be engaged in mushy conversation. In a nutshell, a relationship like best friends, just with the being able to cuddle and kiss would be my kind of relationship. But... girls are scarce.
And that's the reflection on the day. Playing Catherine kinda bugged me into thinking about this too I think.
Over the past few days I've spent quite a fair bit of time with Darren. Went jamming with only me, Andy, and him with his two friends. Went out to eat. Went to his house for his supposed 'Christmas Party' but it was really only me. And we ended up playing his driving simulator game and me introducing him to S4 League. And when we talk we mostly joke about Tommy and his terrible living habits. Tommy's a great guy. Damn fun to be with. But man, how he lives on his own could put even hobos to shame. That topic ends up as the butt of a lot of jokes between us XD
I also met Felicia in person again! Which is rare, despite the fact she's my other best friend. Although in a different way from Vincent. Recently she's been having some worries about boyfriends and guys. Which is odd, because before she didn't really express that much interest in the opposite sex. She denies it, but I think she's been considering getting a boyfriend. And so I've to ride her erratic thought train as she spills her worries onto me. Like what kind of guy would suit her. Or why guys don't go after her even though she's pretty. And it got me to thinking about the kind of girl I would get too.
I'd think that probably I'm not the kind of boyfriend that's super devoted. Those that message 'good morning darling <3 <3' and 'good night sweetie <3 <3' every day. I don't think I could stand such an insignificant chore. I'm more of the casual relationship guy I think. Being able to act more like friends than lovers. I can be romantic, just only at select times. But every other time I'm casual. I like to joke. I like to poke fun. I don't want to constantly be engaged in mushy conversation. In a nutshell, a relationship like best friends, just with the being able to cuddle and kiss would be my kind of relationship. But... girls are scarce.
And that's the reflection on the day. Playing Catherine kinda bugged me into thinking about this too I think.
Flashback - HK Friendships
Friendships didn't build as I hoped it would on this trip though...
Shirleen and Zuhayr were on the same trip with me. We were grouped together with two other guys, Derrick and Haidar. I felt like finally, I could actually spend some good hang-out time with two of my better friends from class. But... as classes in Hong Kong started, seats were in rows of four. With Shirleen constantly bugging Zuh and Derrick and Haidar being in the same class, I was left to sit alone. I thought it okay for the first few days. But then it snowballed. I ended up spending up less and less time with them because really, really, really felt left out. They say loneliness activates the same part of your brain as pain. And there was this gripping pain in my chest for most of the days in Hong Kong. I hate being lonely the most, out of all the negativey emotions. By the time I actually got chances to sit together with them, their bond had gotten too strong. I felt really alienated even though I was with the group. They were laughing amongst themselves and I was just kind of... there.
So in this rut I socialized with the other students on this trip to make up for it. I made new friends, but even though I wanted to hang out with them, I wanted to hang out with Shirleen and Zuhayr more. And I was afraid that if I did, they'd see me as a traitor of a friend. But I didn't want to feel left out in their group either. Leaving me to just going solo many a time for the trip. Perhaps it was just me thinking too much. Shirleen said that I was super hyperactive to the point that she didn't want to talk to me. On hindsight, I might've been subconsciously seeking attention. Zuhayr was my roommate, and every night we did chat quite a bit. I suppose he kinda understood what I was going through but I guess there was no easy way to drag me back in when the walls have already been built. Our friendship grew a lot on this trip though, so it's quite an achievement for me. Shirleen seemed more relieved with the boring, quiet, critical me of Singapore though.
Could I have just been homesick and overthinking it too much? Might be. But the loneliness was definitely real. These experiences have made me just a little bit more conscious of human relationships...
Shirleen and Zuhayr were on the same trip with me. We were grouped together with two other guys, Derrick and Haidar. I felt like finally, I could actually spend some good hang-out time with two of my better friends from class. But... as classes in Hong Kong started, seats were in rows of four. With Shirleen constantly bugging Zuh and Derrick and Haidar being in the same class, I was left to sit alone. I thought it okay for the first few days. But then it snowballed. I ended up spending up less and less time with them because really, really, really felt left out. They say loneliness activates the same part of your brain as pain. And there was this gripping pain in my chest for most of the days in Hong Kong. I hate being lonely the most, out of all the negativey emotions. By the time I actually got chances to sit together with them, their bond had gotten too strong. I felt really alienated even though I was with the group. They were laughing amongst themselves and I was just kind of... there.
So in this rut I socialized with the other students on this trip to make up for it. I made new friends, but even though I wanted to hang out with them, I wanted to hang out with Shirleen and Zuhayr more. And I was afraid that if I did, they'd see me as a traitor of a friend. But I didn't want to feel left out in their group either. Leaving me to just going solo many a time for the trip. Perhaps it was just me thinking too much. Shirleen said that I was super hyperactive to the point that she didn't want to talk to me. On hindsight, I might've been subconsciously seeking attention. Zuhayr was my roommate, and every night we did chat quite a bit. I suppose he kinda understood what I was going through but I guess there was no easy way to drag me back in when the walls have already been built. Our friendship grew a lot on this trip though, so it's quite an achievement for me. Shirleen seemed more relieved with the boring, quiet, critical me of Singapore though.
Could I have just been homesick and overthinking it too much? Might be. But the loneliness was definitely real. These experiences have made me just a little bit more conscious of human relationships...
Flashback - Hong Kong Trip 2
With my miserly attitude even though my wallet was full with Hong Kong dollars, I couldn't bring myself to spend on anything particularly luxurious. I found solace in the night markets, where I could bargain down prices of items. First item I got was a Dagger-Umbrella. They had the swords, but I could find those in Singapore. But the dagger. I had to get my own portable umbrella anyway, and this fit my style.
Apparently I really suck at bargaining.
My overall loot consisted of: Dagger-brella, Mario and Luigi hats, a liquor flask, a shirt, a jacket, an eyepatch and a wristband. All of which I probably could've bargained down more but I sucked at keeping the bargain train going. I'm bad at hiding my interest in an item D:
Some of the money went to going to Ocean Park. from the name, I thought it was a long, huge undersea tunnel, and I was real hyped for that. Then I was there and it was a theme park. Which shot my spirits way down. There was an aquarium, though, so I walked through those. But I couldn't be bothered with the rides all too much, making the trip a waste of money altogether. I had one roller coaster ride though. It was REALLY good. Too bad I was too busy holding my glasses to my face to enjoy the ride all the way.
And most of the money went to food. With the malay guys in tow, sometimes we had to look specifically for a Halal food joint to eat. Which was difficult, since people in Hong Kong really can't be bothered to get certified. Sometimes I ditched the group to find easier to food to eat. Kinda dick of me. But I really didn't want to eat Halal food here which probably isn't all that good due to lack of competition and resource when I could eat much better ones back in Singapore.
And then the remainder went to toys (as souvenirs) and alcohol when I came back.
Apparently I really suck at bargaining.
My overall loot consisted of: Dagger-brella, Mario and Luigi hats, a liquor flask, a shirt, a jacket, an eyepatch and a wristband. All of which I probably could've bargained down more but I sucked at keeping the bargain train going. I'm bad at hiding my interest in an item D:
Some of the money went to going to Ocean Park. from the name, I thought it was a long, huge undersea tunnel, and I was real hyped for that. Then I was there and it was a theme park. Which shot my spirits way down. There was an aquarium, though, so I walked through those. But I couldn't be bothered with the rides all too much, making the trip a waste of money altogether. I had one roller coaster ride though. It was REALLY good. Too bad I was too busy holding my glasses to my face to enjoy the ride all the way.
And most of the money went to food. With the malay guys in tow, sometimes we had to look specifically for a Halal food joint to eat. Which was difficult, since people in Hong Kong really can't be bothered to get certified. Sometimes I ditched the group to find easier to food to eat. Kinda dick of me. But I really didn't want to eat Halal food here which probably isn't all that good due to lack of competition and resource when I could eat much better ones back in Singapore.
And then the remainder went to toys (as souvenirs) and alcohol when I came back.
Flashback - Hong Kong Trip 1
When I first arrived in Hong Kong, man, it was cold! I mean, the temperature was alright. Cold-ish, but nothing a good long-sleeve shirt wouldn't handle. But the wind. Oh, the wind. Just having it blow at your face would just suck the heat and moisture straight out of your skin. Even my hands, I had to wear gloves to keep them from locking up. As the days passed, I got more and more used to it though.
Getting used to the climate was kinda difficult. Everyone had sinuses when they first arrived. All of us had the sniffles and runny noses. I brought drugs to counter it so I was good though XD
Hong Kong is kinda like Singapore. Just colder. The foreign foods and culture seem to overwhelm the local culture a lot more. It was a lot harder to find a local food store than home-run pizzerias and Japanese curry houses. Building placement in Hong Kong is much more awkward though. It's real messy-like. Apparently it's because their buildings obey fengshui so they position their buildings that way, with their streets kinda winding through them. Visually, not very appealing. But it is a traceur's paradise to parkour! I did my fair share of vault drills throughout the trip. I couldn't resist, haha!
We went to classes, unfortunately, amongst only our own students though. There was one time where we were allowed to chat with Hong Kong students. The language barrier was pretty tough, but I had a humorous conversation with this guy after we found common interests in rock and video games. Then we went on about girls. Then Japanese girls. Then erotica. Apparently guys all around the world speak the same language on those terms XD It really broke the ice. Smashed and grinded it.
Classes were full of programming and stuff though. Bugger, I thought it was purely Game Design. Man, it really wasn't what I expected.
25th December - Flashbacks
I actually did forget entirely about my blog right after I came back from Hong Kong. I missed a shitload of days of reporting, and now I realize actually writing about stuff gets things out of my head and from clogging up my mind. Which is quite cool. So I'm gonna go in sequence here.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
2nd December - Departure
I'm at the airport now, eating shaker fries and hoping to see someone I know. Flying off in 4 hours. I really hope I didnt forget anything. This is my first trip on a plane since forever, I'm both thrilled and afraid.
Spent the day with Darren and Tommy. Because our plans to watch Rurouni Kenshin were foiled by lack of tickets, we went on a window shopping spree instead . I found a hat I really liked in Bugis street and got it. Then we went to funan and wandered around a bit until we were all tired and just slacked in a cafe and started on a huge Pokemon fanboy discussion. It really is such a pity I'm leaving today... I miss them already lol I won't be seeing Tommy until January too...
Typing a blog on a phone is hard. I give up.
Spent the day with Darren and Tommy. Because our plans to watch Rurouni Kenshin were foiled by lack of tickets, we went on a window shopping spree instead . I found a hat I really liked in Bugis street and got it. Then we went to funan and wandered around a bit until we were all tired and just slacked in a cafe and started on a huge Pokemon fanboy discussion. It really is such a pity I'm leaving today... I miss them already lol I won't be seeing Tommy until January too...
Typing a blog on a phone is hard. I give up.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
1st December - Bachelor
I was at Tommy's house yesterday, didn't post. Too busy spending the whole day playing games.
Man, Tommy's house is a dump! God damn, and it was a lot worse apparently, before Darren cleaned up everything. But still. Empty Milo packets everywhere. Expired food. Soggy chips. Pile of clothes in the corner. AND THE KITCHEN. Oh god the kitchen. It was horrifying. There was his attempt to make curry. Which resulted in a huge failure. You know, in anime and games when you fail a recipe you get some black matter or something. I never thought I'd see something like that in real life. Behold Tommy's saucepan, caked in a layer of dark demi-solid matter. Together with the brown stains caking the kitchen counters and the grills on the stove. And the stacks of unwashed plates in the sink. We wanted to ignore it at first but then it got late after all the game playing and we needed food but we didn't have enough money to pay for delivery so we had to cook. Darren went ahead first and started washing, and I joined him after because it really was quite a mess. Just. Amazing. And so is the contents of his fridge, how there's barely anything edible in it. Tommy clearly won't survive as a bachelor XD But he's graduated from being a bachelor cos' he got a girlfriend through some crazy circumstances. God dammiiiiiit.
We did go to a bar. Well. Wanted to. It was more of a beer cafe. Cos' the other bars were crowded so we thought any old bar would do. But they specialized in beer, we were idiots to order mixes and shit. Cos' they were bad. Well, mine was just Whisky with ice (it wasn't even On The Rocks. It was just flaky ice), but Darren's Gin Fizz and Tommy's Whisky Coke was really shit, especially for the insane price. My first drinking experience was quite shit, and Whisky wasn't quite as amazing a drink as I made it out to be...
Hanging out with them again tomorrow. I'll only get to see Tommy now until again in January, because my Hong Kong trip and his stay here had to coincide. Gotta enjoy myself as much as I can!
Man, Tommy's house is a dump! God damn, and it was a lot worse apparently, before Darren cleaned up everything. But still. Empty Milo packets everywhere. Expired food. Soggy chips. Pile of clothes in the corner. AND THE KITCHEN. Oh god the kitchen. It was horrifying. There was his attempt to make curry. Which resulted in a huge failure. You know, in anime and games when you fail a recipe you get some black matter or something. I never thought I'd see something like that in real life. Behold Tommy's saucepan, caked in a layer of dark demi-solid matter. Together with the brown stains caking the kitchen counters and the grills on the stove. And the stacks of unwashed plates in the sink. We wanted to ignore it at first but then it got late after all the game playing and we needed food but we didn't have enough money to pay for delivery so we had to cook. Darren went ahead first and started washing, and I joined him after because it really was quite a mess. Just. Amazing. And so is the contents of his fridge, how there's barely anything edible in it. Tommy clearly won't survive as a bachelor XD But he's graduated from being a bachelor cos' he got a girlfriend through some crazy circumstances. God dammiiiiiit.
We did go to a bar. Well. Wanted to. It was more of a beer cafe. Cos' the other bars were crowded so we thought any old bar would do. But they specialized in beer, we were idiots to order mixes and shit. Cos' they were bad. Well, mine was just Whisky with ice (it wasn't even On The Rocks. It was just flaky ice), but Darren's Gin Fizz and Tommy's Whisky Coke was really shit, especially for the insane price. My first drinking experience was quite shit, and Whisky wasn't quite as amazing a drink as I made it out to be...
Hanging out with them again tomorrow. I'll only get to see Tommy now until again in January, because my Hong Kong trip and his stay here had to coincide. Gotta enjoy myself as much as I can!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
29th November - Countdown
I have no idea how to pack my bag. How many sets of clothes do you bring to a 10-degree celsius country for 12 days? I just stuffed a whole bunch of clothes in the bag then I realized that most of my jackets are hoodies and you can't wear hoodies over hoodies DD:
I don't think we can finish the Final Year Project by tomorrow. Hell, we're hella far away. The programming teacher can nag us all he wants, we're going as fast as we can and there's no way we can go any faster than this right now. Sorry that we don't want to make draft models for you because the time spent doing draft models we could spend on making that full model. Not that he understands. Suppose that's why he's a programmer. On our side I think we're making good progress though. We're just behind.
Me and Zi Sheng had a talk with the Noodle Store brudda today. Tomorrow's the last day we're seeing him before the move to the new Ang Mo Kio campus (since it's not confirmed if he'll still be there), and we just had a bit of small talk. He shared a bit of wisdom on trips to Hong Kong, on girls, and teasing on how Shirleen keeps bugging me. But... man, even though we didn't talk about anything really important, it was really the first time I've talked to him face-to-face instead of over a shop counter. And if he doesn't make it to Ang Mo Kio, I'll really miss him. And his noodles. So far, I haven't tasted a bowl of Wanton Noodles better than his XD
If I hadn't left class right away today, maybe Zuhayr and the rest may have gone to watch Rurouni Kenshin. And I wouldn't have been able to go because of Latin Dance. Which I only went for like, 20 minutes before leaving when class was over. Totally no point. I'm starting to really dread Latin Dance.
Ehhhh... Nothing deep today. I think a lot of things might happen tomorrow. Hmm.
I don't think we can finish the Final Year Project by tomorrow. Hell, we're hella far away. The programming teacher can nag us all he wants, we're going as fast as we can and there's no way we can go any faster than this right now. Sorry that we don't want to make draft models for you because the time spent doing draft models we could spend on making that full model. Not that he understands. Suppose that's why he's a programmer. On our side I think we're making good progress though. We're just behind.
Me and Zi Sheng had a talk with the Noodle Store brudda today. Tomorrow's the last day we're seeing him before the move to the new Ang Mo Kio campus (since it's not confirmed if he'll still be there), and we just had a bit of small talk. He shared a bit of wisdom on trips to Hong Kong, on girls, and teasing on how Shirleen keeps bugging me. But... man, even though we didn't talk about anything really important, it was really the first time I've talked to him face-to-face instead of over a shop counter. And if he doesn't make it to Ang Mo Kio, I'll really miss him. And his noodles. So far, I haven't tasted a bowl of Wanton Noodles better than his XD
If I hadn't left class right away today, maybe Zuhayr and the rest may have gone to watch Rurouni Kenshin. And I wouldn't have been able to go because of Latin Dance. Which I only went for like, 20 minutes before leaving when class was over. Totally no point. I'm starting to really dread Latin Dance.
Ehhhh... Nothing deep today. I think a lot of things might happen tomorrow. Hmm.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
28th November - Time Aside
I didn't post yesterday cos' I was at the airport meeting Tommy, I got back at 2AM and conked out.
Anyway, yeah. Tommy visited from Korea! Haven't seen that idiot in so long!! Me, Darren and Eugene got some placards and wrote stuff on them like 'Go back to Korea' and 'I'm pregnant and it's yours', contrary to the typical lovey-fangirl shit that regular fangirls would right. Once he saw them he told us to cut it out cos' we were embarrassing him, hahaha! But damn, my Hong Kong trip's on Monday. Didn't know it came so fast. And Tommy's only gonna be here for 2 weeks, and I'm flying off in a couple of days, I don't even get to hang with him that much because of school. Fuck! And I have to juggle Latin Dance too! God dammit! Now I'm starting to regret that Hong Kong trip. It seems like everyone's suddenly free within the time period that I'm going to Hong Kong, and they're all asking me out and I have to refuse them all. Why didn't you all ask me out when I was bloody free?!! Now I have to carefully, carefully manage my schedule so I can spend as much time as I can with each group. Have to turn down some, have to pick up some, and I have to fit it all nicely. I have no idea what to do anymore. I haven't even started packing!
Final Year Project's a pain too. We are so behind schedule. I highly doubt I can finish much by the end of this week before I fly off. I'm really kinda worried now. As a leader, I'm a failure for delegating tasks that wasted time. I feel real guilty and pissed at myself. Now I just can't afford to fuck around anymore. But it's hard to stay serious because the guys around me are noisy. I got used to Shirleen and the bunch on my left, but Colin sitting behind me with his unnecessary commentary and his irritating airy laugh really gets on my nerves, even through earphones. I'm just... just... RRRRRGGHHHHH
Well, I didn't make it to Latin Dance practice today because I got caught in the terrible storm after hanging out at Tommy's house playing games. Me, Tommy and Darren just sitting around playing games and screaming. These are good times.
Anyway, yeah. Tommy visited from Korea! Haven't seen that idiot in so long!! Me, Darren and Eugene got some placards and wrote stuff on them like 'Go back to Korea' and 'I'm pregnant and it's yours', contrary to the typical lovey-fangirl shit that regular fangirls would right. Once he saw them he told us to cut it out cos' we were embarrassing him, hahaha! But damn, my Hong Kong trip's on Monday. Didn't know it came so fast. And Tommy's only gonna be here for 2 weeks, and I'm flying off in a couple of days, I don't even get to hang with him that much because of school. Fuck! And I have to juggle Latin Dance too! God dammit! Now I'm starting to regret that Hong Kong trip. It seems like everyone's suddenly free within the time period that I'm going to Hong Kong, and they're all asking me out and I have to refuse them all. Why didn't you all ask me out when I was bloody free?!! Now I have to carefully, carefully manage my schedule so I can spend as much time as I can with each group. Have to turn down some, have to pick up some, and I have to fit it all nicely. I have no idea what to do anymore. I haven't even started packing!
Final Year Project's a pain too. We are so behind schedule. I highly doubt I can finish much by the end of this week before I fly off. I'm really kinda worried now. As a leader, I'm a failure for delegating tasks that wasted time. I feel real guilty and pissed at myself. Now I just can't afford to fuck around anymore. But it's hard to stay serious because the guys around me are noisy. I got used to Shirleen and the bunch on my left, but Colin sitting behind me with his unnecessary commentary and his irritating airy laugh really gets on my nerves, even through earphones. I'm just... just... RRRRRGGHHHHH
Well, I didn't make it to Latin Dance practice today because I got caught in the terrible storm after hanging out at Tommy's house playing games. Me, Tommy and Darren just sitting around playing games and screaming. These are good times.
Monday, November 26, 2012
26th November - Shivering
Some events happened last night, I don't really want to disclose. Basically a squabble over a small matter, then some words were thrown... I've found out I have a trauma of some sort.
It's words that pertain to uselessness or being a parasite. Whenever I hear words like that thrown at me I get this really dark feeling well up inside me and expand really quick. I'd feel extremely down, my fingertips would start tingling and my hands itself would shake. Back when I was in Secondary 3 I was called those words a lot, so it seems whenever I hear them I get brought back to that depression period. I hate it.
I couldn't sleep last night, so today was a real challenge to get through. Even now, my eyes are half-shut. Shirleen, Shi Hui, Zhi Xian and the rest got me a second surprise present. Which was the bag they promised before. Double. The. Surprise. OMG. It's so badass, a shark bag. I had one of those back in Secondary School but it tore when I had an argument with the discipline master. But this seems pretty damn sturdy, and it's purdy damn comfortable. The only issue is that it's unnecessarily big, but I'm sure I'll find some use for it. I wish I could've shown more emotion at the sight of it but I was way too tired and depressed to react.
May was really late for Latin Dance today. Man, I don't even like Latin Dance. She likes it even more than me and she's late. Like what. Why am I still in Latin Dance? A wise man said that doing 2 things you dislike a day is good for the soul. Latin Dance is one of them, I guess. I don't particularly enjoy myself, and I still fear touching females, so...
I reached home and I'm smiling and acting nice, but inside I'm still hurting, still angry, still depressed. But I don't want to give my mom any more trouble. She's been raising us alone all this while. Even if she's the one making me feel useless, I'm just going to have to act out a good boy in front of her. It's... the least I could do.
It's words that pertain to uselessness or being a parasite. Whenever I hear words like that thrown at me I get this really dark feeling well up inside me and expand really quick. I'd feel extremely down, my fingertips would start tingling and my hands itself would shake. Back when I was in Secondary 3 I was called those words a lot, so it seems whenever I hear them I get brought back to that depression period. I hate it.
I couldn't sleep last night, so today was a real challenge to get through. Even now, my eyes are half-shut. Shirleen, Shi Hui, Zhi Xian and the rest got me a second surprise present. Which was the bag they promised before. Double. The. Surprise. OMG. It's so badass, a shark bag. I had one of those back in Secondary School but it tore when I had an argument with the discipline master. But this seems pretty damn sturdy, and it's purdy damn comfortable. The only issue is that it's unnecessarily big, but I'm sure I'll find some use for it. I wish I could've shown more emotion at the sight of it but I was way too tired and depressed to react.
May was really late for Latin Dance today. Man, I don't even like Latin Dance. She likes it even more than me and she's late. Like what. Why am I still in Latin Dance? A wise man said that doing 2 things you dislike a day is good for the soul. Latin Dance is one of them, I guess. I don't particularly enjoy myself, and I still fear touching females, so...
I reached home and I'm smiling and acting nice, but inside I'm still hurting, still angry, still depressed. But I don't want to give my mom any more trouble. She's been raising us alone all this while. Even if she's the one making me feel useless, I'm just going to have to act out a good boy in front of her. It's... the least I could do.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
25.5
I can't sleep. Some events happened.
I'm losing my mind. I hope I wake up and read this and think it was stupid to post this.
25th November - In Comparison
Jamming again with the guys only! It's the guys-out jamming day! The 14-year old girls couldn't come so it was a sausage fest jamming session.
I went to Darren's house first so he can teach me bass tabs. I kinda ended up just fiddling with my bass and getting my fingers sore. Ever since Darren pointed out I was off-tune yesterday I've been noticing I'm... really off-tune. I am so disappointed with myself. Anyway, we headed to the Bugis jamming studio, where we played The Beginning over and over again, then Wherever you Are once, and Re:Make once, then The Beginning again. We're almost getting that down perfectly XD But lack of strong vocals is screwing us over. Today, Vincent sang, but... Well, he's... low. I mean, I really want him in the band, but I can't think of what he could do, since Natasha's vocals beat him on every front. He'd have to train his pitch and power a lot more to make up for it. I'm no vocals expert, so I really shouldn't be commenting or nothing, but it's easy for him to get drowned out by the instruments because he's so low D: Darren would make for great vocals but he can't multi-task, and I can't even though I know the tunes and shit because I'm so off-tune. Just choosing low songs for him isn't a great solution either, because there aren't a lot of low-tune songs... Mmmghhh...
Kenji brought his drummer friend as well, and he's better than Andy in keeping in rhythm even though he just listened to The Beginning 15 minutes before he played.
I feel so bad for my friends. I really want to support them, but I have to admit skill-wise they have their asses handed to them. I can't even begin to imagine how they feel. Maybe when a pro bassist comes down and takes my place I'll feel it too. Wonder how much they'll improve after today... Our band has a lot of improvement to do before we can go pro... Shit...
I bought the coolest jacket from Darren, but it's too small. Fuck my life. I don't know what to do.
I went to Darren's house first so he can teach me bass tabs. I kinda ended up just fiddling with my bass and getting my fingers sore. Ever since Darren pointed out I was off-tune yesterday I've been noticing I'm... really off-tune. I am so disappointed with myself. Anyway, we headed to the Bugis jamming studio, where we played The Beginning over and over again, then Wherever you Are once, and Re:Make once, then The Beginning again. We're almost getting that down perfectly XD But lack of strong vocals is screwing us over. Today, Vincent sang, but... Well, he's... low. I mean, I really want him in the band, but I can't think of what he could do, since Natasha's vocals beat him on every front. He'd have to train his pitch and power a lot more to make up for it. I'm no vocals expert, so I really shouldn't be commenting or nothing, but it's easy for him to get drowned out by the instruments because he's so low D: Darren would make for great vocals but he can't multi-task, and I can't even though I know the tunes and shit because I'm so off-tune. Just choosing low songs for him isn't a great solution either, because there aren't a lot of low-tune songs... Mmmghhh...
Kenji brought his drummer friend as well, and he's better than Andy in keeping in rhythm even though he just listened to The Beginning 15 minutes before he played.
I feel so bad for my friends. I really want to support them, but I have to admit skill-wise they have their asses handed to them. I can't even begin to imagine how they feel. Maybe when a pro bassist comes down and takes my place I'll feel it too. Wonder how much they'll improve after today... Our band has a lot of improvement to do before we can go pro... Shit...
I bought the coolest jacket from Darren, but it's too small. Fuck my life. I don't know what to do.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
24th November - Cinderella
And last night I was all 'I am going to blog before I sleep tonight. I will. Not. Forget. ZZZZZZzzzZ".
Anyway, today I went out for jamming. And before I stepped out I was in one of those really lazy I-don't-want-to-get-out-of-the-house moods. But I had to. Being in the band I'm obligated to be there for jamming even though I suck so badly on my bass T_T If I was better I probably won't dread it so much but man, instruments are hard to learn... I mean, sure, Darren guided me through some of the bass tabs and crap, but I can't learn that fast. I don't know how he gets those magic ears and fingers of his. Then again, my drawing skills should be where my skill points went lol. A new skill I learned about myself, is that my off-tune singing is SO off-tune, that it harmonizes perfectly with Natasha's voice. Liek wow. As much as I am proud I am also upset Q_Q I can't sing.
I left my phone in the car before I left for jamming today. First time I left something behind in a long time. Got sooooo pissed off with myself that I wanted to tweet about it but I couldn't without my phone HAHAHA. I got it back quickly afterwards though, so all's good.
After jamming I went for the Cinderella play at ACJC with Natasha and Phoebe. It was a hard choice between going to Darren's house or this, but I decided that I haven't seen Adri in a long time, I should go see him. And wow, watching plays from the audience side is really different from being backstage. The story itself was cheesy, but I was really impressed by the effort put into the show. All the coordination and the like. Even Adri was soaked in sweat when I went to see him after the play was over. He seems to be doing pretty well. Popular, especially with the girls. I could only get out a 'hi WHASSUP' before I got swallowed by the crowd.
Everyone's progressing really far ahead, and I'm still pretty lost on what to do. Bugger.
Anyway, today I went out for jamming. And before I stepped out I was in one of those really lazy I-don't-want-to-get-out-of-the-house moods. But I had to. Being in the band I'm obligated to be there for jamming even though I suck so badly on my bass T_T If I was better I probably won't dread it so much but man, instruments are hard to learn... I mean, sure, Darren guided me through some of the bass tabs and crap, but I can't learn that fast. I don't know how he gets those magic ears and fingers of his. Then again, my drawing skills should be where my skill points went lol. A new skill I learned about myself, is that my off-tune singing is SO off-tune, that it harmonizes perfectly with Natasha's voice. Liek wow. As much as I am proud I am also upset Q_Q I can't sing.
I left my phone in the car before I left for jamming today. First time I left something behind in a long time. Got sooooo pissed off with myself that I wanted to tweet about it but I couldn't without my phone HAHAHA. I got it back quickly afterwards though, so all's good.
After jamming I went for the Cinderella play at ACJC with Natasha and Phoebe. It was a hard choice between going to Darren's house or this, but I decided that I haven't seen Adri in a long time, I should go see him. And wow, watching plays from the audience side is really different from being backstage. The story itself was cheesy, but I was really impressed by the effort put into the show. All the coordination and the like. Even Adri was soaked in sweat when I went to see him after the play was over. He seems to be doing pretty well. Popular, especially with the girls. I could only get out a 'hi WHASSUP' before I got swallowed by the crowd.
Everyone's progressing really far ahead, and I'm still pretty lost on what to do. Bugger.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
22nd November - Vaccination
I had my influenza vaccination today. Man, this is some hype stuff. Gave me a high for a good hour or so. Today, Shirleen, Zuhayr and I journeyed from school to Bedok to get our flu jabs for the Hong Kong trip. It was soooooo awkward. Thing being because: All three of us communicate better in groups. We leech off the conversation. We live off it. We pick at parts of it, twist it around, turn it into a joke, keep the flow going. We're not the kind that start conversations. We just contribute. And that's why the bulk of this trip was... unfortunately, really silent. And awkward. Oh boy, what an exciting Hong Kong trip this will be XD
Final Year Project is really picking up in the need for us to speed up. Gah, I'm wrecking my brain in delegating tasks properly, and I still have to deal with my own shit. Given to anyone else they probably would've blown out by now. It's nice being in charge but for my brain to be working at this speed all the time is really, really exhausting. Wait, I think I've mentioned this before already... Ah, bugger. So I gotta make a list of animations, I gotta splice a sample animation, I gotta install a programming software for easier testing, I gotta design menu screens... Don't ever take Game Design for granted, people. And stop pirating. We Game Designers go through so much shit you normal people can't even fecking imagine.
As for Latin Dance, I'm still being grinded through the steps. With Kenji out of commission, the responsibility of shouldering the name of the club during the CCA roadshow lies on me. And so, every day of my week afterschool has been taken up by Latin Dance. And my weekends have been taken up by the band wanting to rehearse for EOY even though I won't be there. Oh god... My schedule's so packed...
Just thinking about all this as I type makes me feel so drained.
I need to vent. I need to vent so bad.
Final Year Project is really picking up in the need for us to speed up. Gah, I'm wrecking my brain in delegating tasks properly, and I still have to deal with my own shit. Given to anyone else they probably would've blown out by now. It's nice being in charge but for my brain to be working at this speed all the time is really, really exhausting. Wait, I think I've mentioned this before already... Ah, bugger. So I gotta make a list of animations, I gotta splice a sample animation, I gotta install a programming software for easier testing, I gotta design menu screens... Don't ever take Game Design for granted, people. And stop pirating. We Game Designers go through so much shit you normal people can't even fecking imagine.
As for Latin Dance, I'm still being grinded through the steps. With Kenji out of commission, the responsibility of shouldering the name of the club during the CCA roadshow lies on me. And so, every day of my week afterschool has been taken up by Latin Dance. And my weekends have been taken up by the band wanting to rehearse for EOY even though I won't be there. Oh god... My schedule's so packed...
Just thinking about all this as I type makes me feel so drained.
I need to vent. I need to vent so bad.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
21st November - Gynephobia
Yeaaaaah, I thought I was forgetting something. I forgot to post yesterday.
There's a war brewing in my class. I think. Zhiyin's group and her band of malays, together with Jun Cheng's group of ah bengs against Shirleen and her band of merry, happy-go-lucky immature peeps (occasionally I'm included). Now, I hate conflict, I really do. But I do sincerely think that Zhiyin has gotten a lot bitchier over the course of the year, after she started talking in memes and then started picking up meenarep mannerisms. Whereas Jun Cheng, as much as I respect him as a fellow artist, I do feel he's being too harsh on people who can't keep up with the world that people of our skill level are in. And in Shirleen's group we've kinda gossiped about them, not in a derogatory way but in a... observational way, based on the them of now and them of what they used to be when the class used to peaceful and everyone was friends. And they think that we're firing missiles and they should start firing back even though all we've been doing is a bit of banter. *sigh* The classroom's air is so tense, I don't like this at all.
I got a surprise present from the Shirleen faction though. A Twister set for my belated birthday present! I've never played Twister before so... wow! But they really got me all hyped up for a Shark Bag, then they surprised me with this. I mean, I love this present, but after making me expect a bag so much and then giving me a Twister set, I can't help but be both super happy and disappointed at the same time. I'm so boggled by my own emotions XD
In Latin Dance, I've to train for the CCA Roadshow, and being the only guy who's in a stable enough position to be there on the day, I've been grinded through so much practice. I can remember moves just fine, but I have this fear of touching women. Not severely, but I get really... uncomfortable. Like really self-conscious-like. It's a real problem T_T Damn you all-boys schools!
There's a war brewing in my class. I think. Zhiyin's group and her band of malays, together with Jun Cheng's group of ah bengs against Shirleen and her band of merry, happy-go-lucky immature peeps (occasionally I'm included). Now, I hate conflict, I really do. But I do sincerely think that Zhiyin has gotten a lot bitchier over the course of the year, after she started talking in memes and then started picking up meenarep mannerisms. Whereas Jun Cheng, as much as I respect him as a fellow artist, I do feel he's being too harsh on people who can't keep up with the world that people of our skill level are in. And in Shirleen's group we've kinda gossiped about them, not in a derogatory way but in a... observational way, based on the them of now and them of what they used to be when the class used to peaceful and everyone was friends. And they think that we're firing missiles and they should start firing back even though all we've been doing is a bit of banter. *sigh* The classroom's air is so tense, I don't like this at all.
I got a surprise present from the Shirleen faction though. A Twister set for my belated birthday present! I've never played Twister before so... wow! But they really got me all hyped up for a Shark Bag, then they surprised me with this. I mean, I love this present, but after making me expect a bag so much and then giving me a Twister set, I can't help but be both super happy and disappointed at the same time. I'm so boggled by my own emotions XD
In Latin Dance, I've to train for the CCA Roadshow, and being the only guy who's in a stable enough position to be there on the day, I've been grinded through so much practice. I can remember moves just fine, but I have this fear of touching women. Not severely, but I get really... uncomfortable. Like really self-conscious-like. It's a real problem T_T Damn you all-boys schools!
Monday, November 19, 2012
19th November - Futility
There was school today. And I resolved myself to not do anything for the whole day. No work, even though I was mentally beating myself up for being unproductive. No playing games for the intention of clearing them or being pro. My whole day HAD to consist of me being utterly fucking useless.
Well, I did finish my website for Game Packaging Design but... eh.
I just read from Bartender that sometimes, a little futility is good for the soul. And it worked. The urge to do work built up inside me so much that I realize it was the urge out of duty. I forgot why I took up this course to begin with again. And now that I know, I am psyched for tomorrow. Something I haven't felt in a long time. I picked up Game Design because I wanted to be a Game Designer. Because I enjoy creating games. I'm not slaving away at my Final Year Project for results or because the teachers are bugging me for progress. It's because I want to. I want to make something nice. Something fun. I forgot how to have fun with what I was doing and I ended up being a robot. That's why the past week I had been feeling so lost when doing work.
So hooray for futility! Yay! Restoring all my spirit points or something, I dunno XD
Sometimes, you have to stop and just drop whatever you're doing and just stay in the moment. A little bit of nothing helps to guide you back in place.
It's 2AM, I'm probably still gonna be late for school though. But heck. I'm ready to do work, and not out of obligation this time. It's because I enjoy it. WOOHOOOOO!
I have this hunch I may be cockblocking someone's love attempt for an upcoming overseas trip but I'm not sure. I've never been very good with the whole 'love' thing, density and everything. Uhmm...
Well, I did finish my website for Game Packaging Design but... eh.
I just read from Bartender that sometimes, a little futility is good for the soul. And it worked. The urge to do work built up inside me so much that I realize it was the urge out of duty. I forgot why I took up this course to begin with again. And now that I know, I am psyched for tomorrow. Something I haven't felt in a long time. I picked up Game Design because I wanted to be a Game Designer. Because I enjoy creating games. I'm not slaving away at my Final Year Project for results or because the teachers are bugging me for progress. It's because I want to. I want to make something nice. Something fun. I forgot how to have fun with what I was doing and I ended up being a robot. That's why the past week I had been feeling so lost when doing work.
So hooray for futility! Yay! Restoring all my spirit points or something, I dunno XD
Sometimes, you have to stop and just drop whatever you're doing and just stay in the moment. A little bit of nothing helps to guide you back in place.
It's 2AM, I'm probably still gonna be late for school though. But heck. I'm ready to do work, and not out of obligation this time. It's because I enjoy it. WOOHOOOOO!
I have this hunch I may be cockblocking someone's love attempt for an upcoming overseas trip but I'm not sure. I've never been very good with the whole 'love' thing, density and everything. Uhmm...
Sunday, November 18, 2012
18th November - Wastage
It looks like I'm pissy today too. Today started out relatively alright, I guess. I slept in, got rushed out of bed by Darren and Vincent reaching AMK Hub already, so I had to wake my sis up and wait for her too. We went for Kbox, which was pretty awesome since now a ONE OK ROCK song was in the system: The Beginning. Played it like 3 times throughout the session.
Then Darren left, and we decided to go home. But my sister needed an ID Photo for her work, and I told her that she could just take a photo of herself and print it out, and paste it. But noooo, she had to insist on using an ID Photo Booth and waste money. Not only that, because of her stupid decision, we missed the bus too. FUCKING PISSED OFF. Not only did you waste money, but time as well?! Wastage really, really, REALLY ticks me off!!!
I don't really like dissing anyone, but my sister is really, really stupid. I really don't understand how stupid people think. They make dumb decisions, insist its sensible, and even after getting bad results from it, they'd still do it again in the future. What the hell! I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I think the line between stupid and smart (or not stupid) is quite clearly drawn. And even if you're capable of much faster, clearer, and more logical thought processes, it's almost impossible to imagine how to stupid person thinks.
Oh god, I sound like Felicia.
And I was grumpy for the rest of the day. I started having this suspicion that Vincent's only my best friend because he wants to get close to my sister. I know it's bad thinking this way, and distrusting him, but it just started nagging me after today. I just... Maybe I'm just paranoid.
... Maybe I just need a break. I wish that Hong Kong trip would come sooner...
Then Darren left, and we decided to go home. But my sister needed an ID Photo for her work, and I told her that she could just take a photo of herself and print it out, and paste it. But noooo, she had to insist on using an ID Photo Booth and waste money. Not only that, because of her stupid decision, we missed the bus too. FUCKING PISSED OFF. Not only did you waste money, but time as well?! Wastage really, really, REALLY ticks me off!!!
I don't really like dissing anyone, but my sister is really, really stupid. I really don't understand how stupid people think. They make dumb decisions, insist its sensible, and even after getting bad results from it, they'd still do it again in the future. What the hell! I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I think the line between stupid and smart (or not stupid) is quite clearly drawn. And even if you're capable of much faster, clearer, and more logical thought processes, it's almost impossible to imagine how to stupid person thinks.
Oh god, I sound like Felicia.
And I was grumpy for the rest of the day. I started having this suspicion that Vincent's only my best friend because he wants to get close to my sister. I know it's bad thinking this way, and distrusting him, but it just started nagging me after today. I just... Maybe I'm just paranoid.
... Maybe I just need a break. I wish that Hong Kong trip would come sooner...
Saturday, November 17, 2012
17th December - Empathy
Today my dad's side of the family was celebrating the 16-year olds' O-Levels being over, so they invited all of us. I'm actually a lot closer to my cousins on my dad's side than my mom's because I grew up with them, but after the divorce I never got to see them much, so whenever there's a rare reunion celebration they call and really urge us to come. Which, of course, I don't really mind, but my mom tends to get a bit ticked off.
There wasn't actually much to do there though. I drank a can of beer and ate a bit of nasi lemak, and it was pretty boring since everyone's kinda grown up and matured :'( I miss the times back when we are all kiddie and immature and I was the leader of the band of midgets and we'd just play and shit. It's not all bad, though. Once Pamela came, things got a bit better. She's one-year older than me, and amongst all the other cousins, she's probably the one I'm closest to because after me, the next age gap is two years. Yeaaaah, I'm second oldest amongst us XD Started to chat a bit, then stopped once my mom introduced Worldventures to all the aunts and uncles, and we sat there awkwardly for quite awhile. Then I brought up Latin Dance, and the aunts got interested, particularly since Aunt Serene, Pamela's mom, and Aunt Brenda, her twin sister, did latin dance. And Pamela picked it up quite recently so she was pretty eager. Although I was more experienced I had barely any idea what to do because I totally forgot all my routines D: But luckily Pamela didn't know much either or I would've been really embarrassed.
When Jason came back from work we got to see quite a show of Aunt Brenda just interrogating him about everything during his day. Poor guy, he's had it rough with a mom that wants to baby him and cover every aspect of his life. Once he left the living room me and the rest of the aunts gave some advice to her. I got praised for being able to read people well and they said I should be a psychologist *w* butgamedesign
The day ended and we left. Mom seemed happy that I got praised so much by everyone. LOL
Friday, November 16, 2012
16th November - Boiling Point
I missed a day again. Damn it.
Today really pissed me off. Every time I create something for the Final Year Project, Shirleen or Justin have to comment on it. "It looks weird." "It's gay." "It's so ugly." And then they don't really tell me anything else. It'd be much nicer, I mean, if they actually did point out where it sucked, or suggested a part for me to improve on (even if I might disagree at first but it may come out nicer in the end). Okay, maybe I can't expect that out of Shirleen, but Justin. Oh god, that fecker this ticks me way off. I got him in my group cos' he's skilled, but Jesus Christ, he is whiny as hell. He's just finding every damn opportunity to snark at me just because he can. Even if the moment's inappropriate or even if the conversation doesn't even remotely involve me, he'd childishly call names. Or even if I'm not even talking to him he'd shout over. And he gloats every chance he gets. I know I shouldn't let such immature actions get to me or piss me off, and they say that guys' friendships are built on insults (although not tasteless, childish ones like these), but I'm not in the mood! I haven't been so annoyed at people in quite a while. Just... GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! FUCKING HELL!
I don't like being angry. I don't know why, but I can't seem to find it in me to get openly angry so I can vent. It just bottles up inside and I feel like exploding, but I'm indifferent on the outside. I suppose they call this 'silent anger'?
*sigh* I guess I'm just in a bad mood today, or maybe I'm just stressed out. Having to think ahead for the other members of my team because they won't do it themselves takes quite a toll on me. It'd actually be nicer if I could share these worries with someone, but I don't want to trouble anyone with my petty burdens either. Guess there's only you, blog-baby (._.)
Today really pissed me off. Every time I create something for the Final Year Project, Shirleen or Justin have to comment on it. "It looks weird." "It's gay." "It's so ugly." And then they don't really tell me anything else. It'd be much nicer, I mean, if they actually did point out where it sucked, or suggested a part for me to improve on (even if I might disagree at first but it may come out nicer in the end). Okay, maybe I can't expect that out of Shirleen, but Justin. Oh god, that fecker this ticks me way off. I got him in my group cos' he's skilled, but Jesus Christ, he is whiny as hell. He's just finding every damn opportunity to snark at me just because he can. Even if the moment's inappropriate or even if the conversation doesn't even remotely involve me, he'd childishly call names. Or even if I'm not even talking to him he'd shout over. And he gloats every chance he gets. I know I shouldn't let such immature actions get to me or piss me off, and they say that guys' friendships are built on insults (although not tasteless, childish ones like these), but I'm not in the mood! I haven't been so annoyed at people in quite a while. Just... GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! FUCKING HELL!
I don't like being angry. I don't know why, but I can't seem to find it in me to get openly angry so I can vent. It just bottles up inside and I feel like exploding, but I'm indifferent on the outside. I suppose they call this 'silent anger'?
*sigh* I guess I'm just in a bad mood today, or maybe I'm just stressed out. Having to think ahead for the other members of my team because they won't do it themselves takes quite a toll on me. It'd actually be nicer if I could share these worries with someone, but I don't want to trouble anyone with my petty burdens either. Guess there's only you, blog-baby (._.)
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
14th November - Work and Play
I really really really hate it when I'm the only one taking work seriously. I'm the only guy sitting at my computer, focusing my mind totally in my work, totally in my zone, blocking out those brainy parts that control conversation and emotion and shit, and just 100% think about my work and sitting here being a boring motherfecking asshole, but getting stuff done. Then there's people around me who're just fucking around. Like Shirleen stop chatting with Zhi Xian and do work for fecking crying out loud. And Zhi Xian you faggot stop coming here and distracting her with pointless shit when there's work to be done. And what the feck are you doing playing Pokemon behind me Darren go do your shit. You can all play in Game Packaging Class. Nobody listens in Game Packaging Class. Even I play Zelda and the bloody hard Ikaruga in Game Packaging Class. Come on take Final Year Project seriously GRAAAAAAGH WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID
Did you know that working together with people decreases your IQ because part of your brain is used for communication and things like 'how you look like to other people' rather than giving all the power to doing work? I find that I really hate people. Like, I hate everyone. I hate people. Just that there are some people I hate more. That's all. If it weren't for the rain I would've so hanged out at the rooftop for the whole of lunch. Even though no one is supposed to go to rooftop but occasionally someone leaves the gate open and I sneak up there and it's dirty and there's a noisy machine thing but there are NO PEOPLE and it's like paradise to my mind. It's so weird how I'm lonely but at the same time I just don't want people to fecking bother me.
Apparently Vincent has met with the long time not seen Ignatious and he has no good friends as well so now we can hang out together WOOHOO
And driving is starting to get boring once you figure it out.
Did you know that working together with people decreases your IQ because part of your brain is used for communication and things like 'how you look like to other people' rather than giving all the power to doing work? I find that I really hate people. Like, I hate everyone. I hate people. Just that there are some people I hate more. That's all. If it weren't for the rain I would've so hanged out at the rooftop for the whole of lunch. Even though no one is supposed to go to rooftop but occasionally someone leaves the gate open and I sneak up there and it's dirty and there's a noisy machine thing but there are NO PEOPLE and it's like paradise to my mind. It's so weird how I'm lonely but at the same time I just don't want people to fecking bother me.
Apparently Vincent has met with the long time not seen Ignatious and he has no good friends as well so now we can hang out together WOOHOO
And driving is starting to get boring once you figure it out.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
13th November - Contingency
Maaaaan, we were going to go to Kbox today but... Damn.
Me and Vincent invited Phoebe, Darren and Tania. Midway through Darren said he had work and Tania could only make it later, while Phoebe, without her phone, was uncontactable. We were bummed out during the morning, when good news arrived! They all could make it, and Phoebe called me with her house phone so we at least know where we can find her lol
But we couldn't go to Kbox because we couldn't use the member card on public holidays, thus each person would have to pay like $27 if we really did go, so feck that idea. Turned Tania down because we thought we'd be going to Darren't house, but we ended up going all the way to Bras Basah to get Darren's IC printed for his job, then Dhoby Ghaut to play a bit of Counter Strike.
What got me bummer is that all these weren't my ideas. I'm so pathetic once my initial ideas get shot down. I never ever come up with a back up plan. And even ones I come up on the spot (going to Funan for shopping) get shot down by the rain. I suck at back up plans because I'm always so confident that the initial plan will always work out ( ._.)
Darren left for work and we left to hang out at Vincent's house. Shits, giggles, laughs. Mostly singing to Youtube at his house. Man why can't we all be the band's vocalists =3=
On the bus trip home I browsed through Facebook and realized a lot of peeps who went to AFA, those I met a long time ago through cosplay (but I haven't done it in forever) have improved leaps and bounds. And I'm still here, and I'm getting left behind. I don't want to get left behind. When did everyone get so far ahead? How do I catch up? These thoughts left a lingering, depressing feeling inside me tonight.
Me and Vincent invited Phoebe, Darren and Tania. Midway through Darren said he had work and Tania could only make it later, while Phoebe, without her phone, was uncontactable. We were bummed out during the morning, when good news arrived! They all could make it, and Phoebe called me with her house phone so we at least know where we can find her lol
But we couldn't go to Kbox because we couldn't use the member card on public holidays, thus each person would have to pay like $27 if we really did go, so feck that idea. Turned Tania down because we thought we'd be going to Darren't house, but we ended up going all the way to Bras Basah to get Darren's IC printed for his job, then Dhoby Ghaut to play a bit of Counter Strike.
What got me bummer is that all these weren't my ideas. I'm so pathetic once my initial ideas get shot down. I never ever come up with a back up plan. And even ones I come up on the spot (going to Funan for shopping) get shot down by the rain. I suck at back up plans because I'm always so confident that the initial plan will always work out ( ._.)
Darren left for work and we left to hang out at Vincent's house. Shits, giggles, laughs. Mostly singing to Youtube at his house. Man why can't we all be the band's vocalists =3=
On the bus trip home I browsed through Facebook and realized a lot of peeps who went to AFA, those I met a long time ago through cosplay (but I haven't done it in forever) have improved leaps and bounds. And I'm still here, and I'm getting left behind. I don't want to get left behind. When did everyone get so far ahead? How do I catch up? These thoughts left a lingering, depressing feeling inside me tonight.
Monday, November 12, 2012
12th November - Behind the Wheel!
I woke up today feeling way lethargic despite my mind being pretty much awake. I'm thinking it's the aftereffects of the cigarettes the previous night. School kinda went as usual I guess. When I get into my work mode, I just don't feel like anything really matters. Shirleen was bothering me the whole day and for some reason I couldn't really be bothered to do anything back. Yeah.Work mode. So swag. I'm in mah work zone and you can't touch mah shit. I won't tolerate any fecking nonsense. Go back to your table Zhi Xian you're ruining my work chakra. Shirleen get your ass back to work. Everyone work. Work. Woooork.
Ever noticed how long people take to notice you're gone if you just sneak away? It just makes you feel really insignificant. I snuck away from the back of the group and no one seemed to notice I was gone so I left them. Then I went to take a huge dump. I don't usually take dumps outside of home but I was having a really bad stomachache. Tired myself out afterwards, in Game Packaging, when I couldn't muster up any energy to start on my Web Design HTML.Wish I brought the PS3 remote to school, now that I've figured how to use it on computers. Went out to buy Shi Hui's birthday present after that. And lots of gossip about our classmates. I agreed on someone and really disagreed on others. I'll say more in another post next time.
I had my first driver's lesson today. Oh god, driving is so fun. But it's so hard. Mom said it was like making the car a part of your body but FUCK THAT ITS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. You have to pay attention to so many fucking things at once it's terrible. I kept stalling the car and I had to reboot it over and over again. But after I got the hang of it, it was pretty fun just doing laps and changing gears. But I barely can pay attention to the things I'm doing, let alone pay attention to road signs and speeds. No wonder people get tickets. This is hard shit.
Ever noticed how long people take to notice you're gone if you just sneak away? It just makes you feel really insignificant. I snuck away from the back of the group and no one seemed to notice I was gone so I left them. Then I went to take a huge dump. I don't usually take dumps outside of home but I was having a really bad stomachache. Tired myself out afterwards, in Game Packaging, when I couldn't muster up any energy to start on my Web Design HTML.Wish I brought the PS3 remote to school, now that I've figured how to use it on computers. Went out to buy Shi Hui's birthday present after that. And lots of gossip about our classmates. I agreed on someone and really disagreed on others. I'll say more in another post next time.
I had my first driver's lesson today. Oh god, driving is so fun. But it's so hard. Mom said it was like making the car a part of your body but FUCK THAT ITS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. You have to pay attention to so many fucking things at once it's terrible. I kept stalling the car and I had to reboot it over and over again. But after I got the hang of it, it was pretty fun just doing laps and changing gears. But I barely can pay attention to the things I'm doing, let alone pay attention to road signs and speeds. No wonder people get tickets. This is hard shit.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
11th November - Anti-Masturbatory
Woke up surprisingly early today but still had no idea what to do with my time. It's not that I have nothing to do. It's just that I can't decide. I have games I want to complete, but if I play games I feel guilty that I'm not doing work, although I wouldn't do work even if I wasn't playing them, but just because of that in the end I end up doing nothing. Or in this case, sit my ass down and play S4 League. Because that's just what I do when I can't decide. End up with zero productivity because you can't beat an online game =3=
Vincent came over and we played a few games for a bit before we got bored of everything. My sister decided to omegle with us. By omegle, it's going on the site and webcamming with random people and shit. It's a lot easier if you're a girl, because only horny assholes go on there to look for girls, either to hit on and ask for tits or just to jack off. It's soooo sad lol
Took a break midway for a smoke. Firstly, I don't smoke. But I had a pack of cigarettes I bought way back to cheer up peeps but I never used it. Vincent doesn't smoke either, but we thought might as well have a smoke just for the sake of it. So we did. Walked to 7-11 way across the main road while occasionally coughing and spluttering. Bought a bottle of orange juice because we realized we had no money. Then walked back smoking another stick but spluttering less. Cigarettes suck. I don't understand why people even do it, other than the occasional smoke break. My head's pretty numb right now still and my hands stink. I don't like being not in control of my body. I do like drinking though. It's pretty unique how there're so many combinations and different kinds of alcohol, and how long it's preserved and all that shit. It's fascinating to me. Interest probably stemmed from Bar Oasis.
Omegling wasn't very fun. Sure, there's some shits and giggles, but I got better things to do with my time. Best part was stunning and stopping masturbators by saying their dicks are small though.
Vincent came over and we played a few games for a bit before we got bored of everything. My sister decided to omegle with us. By omegle, it's going on the site and webcamming with random people and shit. It's a lot easier if you're a girl, because only horny assholes go on there to look for girls, either to hit on and ask for tits or just to jack off. It's soooo sad lol
Took a break midway for a smoke. Firstly, I don't smoke. But I had a pack of cigarettes I bought way back to cheer up peeps but I never used it. Vincent doesn't smoke either, but we thought might as well have a smoke just for the sake of it. So we did. Walked to 7-11 way across the main road while occasionally coughing and spluttering. Bought a bottle of orange juice because we realized we had no money. Then walked back smoking another stick but spluttering less. Cigarettes suck. I don't understand why people even do it, other than the occasional smoke break. My head's pretty numb right now still and my hands stink. I don't like being not in control of my body. I do like drinking though. It's pretty unique how there're so many combinations and different kinds of alcohol, and how long it's preserved and all that shit. It's fascinating to me. Interest probably stemmed from Bar Oasis.
Omegling wasn't very fun. Sure, there's some shits and giggles, but I got better things to do with my time. Best part was stunning and stopping masturbators by saying their dicks are small though.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
10th November - Knife Fight
Woke up at 5pm today. Probably cos' of staying up til' 10AM to do a Neo Team Plasma drawing. I had this dream where I was building a house on this plot of land, and some events earlier involved me helping my neighbour and him giving me a butterfly knife, a silver switchblade knife and a black switchblade knife, plus a taser and a shotgun the size of... one of those toy ones. But it did shoot. I vaguely remember killing something with it...
So... yeah, while building my house this punk Jun Cheng comes by and rustles through my bag and takes some of my shit. So I hit him and he buggers off for awhile. Then a while later he grabs the whole bag, stays there for a few seconds, then runs off, leaving me just enough time to grab on to one of the bag straps and stay in chase. He whips out the butterfly knife so I take out the black knife and engage in return. Manage to dodge and block everytime he swings at me while I slash him a few times (this all happens while we're running side-by-side). It's quite scary fighting a person who's not afraid of getting cut. And yeah, that thing where they said you need resolve to cut a person with a knife? You really do. Swinging a knife and cutting someone with it are two totally different things. Eventually I pin him to the wall with my dagger at his throat and I retrieve my stuff, but then he keeps coming for my stuff like some kind of kleptomaniac zombie, even at knifepoint and gunpoint. A few other events, before I wake up I realize my taser's gone from my back pocket. Really left me with an empty feeling as I woke up because I don't know where the hell it went. I really should have tased him earlier in the dream though >_>
Still. What an intense dream. I think it's because my heart was beating strangely fast when I was getting to sleep. I spent the rest of the day playing S4 League and feeling generally empty. I have no idea what to do...
Man, I am lonely.
So... yeah, while building my house this punk Jun Cheng comes by and rustles through my bag and takes some of my shit. So I hit him and he buggers off for awhile. Then a while later he grabs the whole bag, stays there for a few seconds, then runs off, leaving me just enough time to grab on to one of the bag straps and stay in chase. He whips out the butterfly knife so I take out the black knife and engage in return. Manage to dodge and block everytime he swings at me while I slash him a few times (this all happens while we're running side-by-side). It's quite scary fighting a person who's not afraid of getting cut. And yeah, that thing where they said you need resolve to cut a person with a knife? You really do. Swinging a knife and cutting someone with it are two totally different things. Eventually I pin him to the wall with my dagger at his throat and I retrieve my stuff, but then he keeps coming for my stuff like some kind of kleptomaniac zombie, even at knifepoint and gunpoint. A few other events, before I wake up I realize my taser's gone from my back pocket. Really left me with an empty feeling as I woke up because I don't know where the hell it went. I really should have tased him earlier in the dream though >_>
Still. What an intense dream. I think it's because my heart was beating strangely fast when I was getting to sleep. I spent the rest of the day playing S4 League and feeling generally empty. I have no idea what to do...
Man, I am lonely.
Friday, November 9, 2012
9th November - Brown Lava
Today passed pretty blandly. I kinda woke up thinking it was 19th November and since my Final Year Project's due 30th November and all the things we haven't done, and all the unnecessary things that we've been doing flashed through my head.
It was like the first serious thinking I've done in awhile. Also an image of a HiChew appeared in my head and I had no idea why.
Rushed to school, remedied it, should... be alright. I still ended up not doing anything though lol
Texturing is a bitch. At least I've my full team back now.
After school (which ended early today, strangely), found out the gate to the rooftop of the school was open. Everyone else freaked out but I jumped at the chance to explore the only part of the school I haven't seen it. Grabbed Zi Sheng and dragged him up with me so I had an accomplice, BWAHAHAHA
There really was nothing up there though. In fact, it seemed like no one had been up there in... really long. Plants were growing, the floor had this whole layer of black dusty stuff. Even the ladder up there led up to... the top of a wall. Yeah there was no floor. There was just the top of the wall the ladder was mounted to. Totally pointless ladder. Damn, I should've jumped down to the roof of the floor below, that seemed like there would be a lot more to explore, although god knows how I would be able to get back if I did.
Was a disappointment overall, but no wonder they locked it up. Seemed like a nasty fall if you slipped off the edge.
Went home, played some Naruto Ninja Storm, got annoyed at my sister's inability to understand instructions to pirate, then parked myself in front of this computer and watched Best Friends Play.
I beat Bar Oasis 1.5. Finally I can start on Bar Oasis 2. Bar Oasis is the best fucking iOS game.
It was like the first serious thinking I've done in awhile. Also an image of a HiChew appeared in my head and I had no idea why.
Rushed to school, remedied it, should... be alright. I still ended up not doing anything though lol
Texturing is a bitch. At least I've my full team back now.
After school (which ended early today, strangely), found out the gate to the rooftop of the school was open. Everyone else freaked out but I jumped at the chance to explore the only part of the school I haven't seen it. Grabbed Zi Sheng and dragged him up with me so I had an accomplice, BWAHAHAHA
There really was nothing up there though. In fact, it seemed like no one had been up there in... really long. Plants were growing, the floor had this whole layer of black dusty stuff. Even the ladder up there led up to... the top of a wall. Yeah there was no floor. There was just the top of the wall the ladder was mounted to. Totally pointless ladder. Damn, I should've jumped down to the roof of the floor below, that seemed like there would be a lot more to explore, although god knows how I would be able to get back if I did.
Was a disappointment overall, but no wonder they locked it up. Seemed like a nasty fall if you slipped off the edge.
Went home, played some Naruto Ninja Storm, got annoyed at my sister's inability to understand instructions to pirate, then parked myself in front of this computer and watched Best Friends Play.
I beat Bar Oasis 1.5. Finally I can start on Bar Oasis 2. Bar Oasis is the best fucking iOS game.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
8th November - A Game
(oops forgot to post last night bugger)
I bought a game today. Which is fucking... Rare. Since I usually don't buy anything. Except food.
I was at the game shop today, and was looking through the games to compare prices and to see if there's anything worth pirating. And then I noticed this huge stack of games on the floor.
Wait, not stack. Stacks.
And... Okay, maybe I might've been imagining it, but it was like they were crying. It was so sad, seeing so many games abandoned by their owners. Sure, a few shelves of secondhand games' no problem, but stacks? On the floor?!
Wow I sympathise more with abandoned discs than abandoned animals I am so fucking weird.
But I bent down, searched through the stack, found a few good games, picked the cheapest one, Naruto ninja storm 2. Ehhhh, yeaaaa. We could use a multiplayer game anyway.
But what would get people to buy games over downloading? Hmm... Another food for thought for me.
I bought a game today. Which is fucking... Rare. Since I usually don't buy anything. Except food.
I was at the game shop today, and was looking through the games to compare prices and to see if there's anything worth pirating. And then I noticed this huge stack of games on the floor.
Wait, not stack. Stacks.
And... Okay, maybe I might've been imagining it, but it was like they were crying. It was so sad, seeing so many games abandoned by their owners. Sure, a few shelves of secondhand games' no problem, but stacks? On the floor?!
Wow I sympathise more with abandoned discs than abandoned animals I am so fucking weird.
But I bent down, searched through the stack, found a few good games, picked the cheapest one, Naruto ninja storm 2. Ehhhh, yeaaaa. We could use a multiplayer game anyway.
But what would get people to buy games over downloading? Hmm... Another food for thought for me.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
7th November - Illness
And I missed two more days because I was sudden struck down with some bizarre illness. I think it's food poisoning or something.
First, I had terrible, constant waves of stomachaches that just wrecked my mind. It's not the sharp kinda pain, it's more of the long, dull, mind-numbing pains that you think don't really affect you much but once half an hour's over you find yourself begging for reprieve.
I tried to sleep it off, I woke up at 4am and took a dump but it still didn't go away. And then nausea. And then I threw it all up. All the pizza I had prior to the stomachache. I think that's the culprit, but no one else had stomachaches except me so I don't know what's going on. My left ear got blocked as I threw up too. Couldn't totally fall back asleep because not only was my left eardrum uncomfortably blocked, it also hurt, and the waves of nausea didn't stop coming either. Couldn't stay still on the bed, my body's limbs demanded to flail about every few seconds. It was so weird. I thought I was turning into a zombie LOL
Doc said that there was a blood clot in my eardrum that's causing a lot of my pain and blocked hearing, and he just gave me a lot of drugs to deal with everything else. Slept for most of the past few days because I couldn't muster up enough mental strength to really do anything else, let alone hold a conversation. And... well, yeah, woke up today with a clear mind (although it blanked again once I started doing schoolwork). Feel a lot better than the previous two days though. I'm still not in the right state to do my work at full speed, but I'm... trying.
But yay, some people missed me :D Or maybe it's just because they missed their potential bother-target.
Got my provisional driver's license too. Awesome.
Hopefully I wake up tomorrow at full capacity and I can work at full speed.
First, I had terrible, constant waves of stomachaches that just wrecked my mind. It's not the sharp kinda pain, it's more of the long, dull, mind-numbing pains that you think don't really affect you much but once half an hour's over you find yourself begging for reprieve.
I tried to sleep it off, I woke up at 4am and took a dump but it still didn't go away. And then nausea. And then I threw it all up. All the pizza I had prior to the stomachache. I think that's the culprit, but no one else had stomachaches except me so I don't know what's going on. My left ear got blocked as I threw up too. Couldn't totally fall back asleep because not only was my left eardrum uncomfortably blocked, it also hurt, and the waves of nausea didn't stop coming either. Couldn't stay still on the bed, my body's limbs demanded to flail about every few seconds. It was so weird. I thought I was turning into a zombie LOL
Doc said that there was a blood clot in my eardrum that's causing a lot of my pain and blocked hearing, and he just gave me a lot of drugs to deal with everything else. Slept for most of the past few days because I couldn't muster up enough mental strength to really do anything else, let alone hold a conversation. And... well, yeah, woke up today with a clear mind (although it blanked again once I started doing schoolwork). Feel a lot better than the previous two days though. I'm still not in the right state to do my work at full speed, but I'm... trying.
But yay, some people missed me :D Or maybe it's just because they missed their potential bother-target.
Got my provisional driver's license too. Awesome.
Hopefully I wake up tomorrow at full capacity and I can work at full speed.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
4th November - Sleepy Day
Seems like every Sunday's a sleepy day. It's so odd.
Not much was accomplished today. I woke up. I played S4 League. I ate lunch. I slouched in my chair for most of the day wondering what to do.
Then I went to play Zelda: Twilight Princess. But I lost the disc. Fuck.
Then I went to play FFXIII for 2 hours. But I couldn't beat King Behemoth. Fuck.
Then Darren told me to play Counter Strike: Global Offensive. But I couldn't beat the Chinese. Fuck.
And now... uh...
I got a PayPal account. I thought I should start supporting other Creators like me instead of constantly pirating and stealing. And now that I have a debit card I actually can pay for stuff now. But I'm not sure if I did the signup process correctly. I'm a bit worried. Hopefully I didn't fill in anything that would suck all the money out of my bank account. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Well... yeah. This online transaction thing's a lot more complicated than I thought it'd be.
I still have to show restraint when buying games though. Even though I've saved up more than lots of my friends, I still have yet to hold a job. I just save money. So I'm still losing money. I can't recklessly spend. *sigh*
Not much was accomplished today. I woke up. I played S4 League. I ate lunch. I slouched in my chair for most of the day wondering what to do.
Then I went to play Zelda: Twilight Princess. But I lost the disc. Fuck.
Then I went to play FFXIII for 2 hours. But I couldn't beat King Behemoth. Fuck.
Then Darren told me to play Counter Strike: Global Offensive. But I couldn't beat the Chinese. Fuck.
And now... uh...
I got a PayPal account. I thought I should start supporting other Creators like me instead of constantly pirating and stealing. And now that I have a debit card I actually can pay for stuff now. But I'm not sure if I did the signup process correctly. I'm a bit worried. Hopefully I didn't fill in anything that would suck all the money out of my bank account. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Well... yeah. This online transaction thing's a lot more complicated than I thought it'd be.
I still have to show restraint when buying games though. Even though I've saved up more than lots of my friends, I still have yet to hold a job. I just save money. So I'm still losing money. I can't recklessly spend. *sigh*
Saturday, November 3, 2012
3rd November - Bowling Day!
Whoops, I missed a day because I went to Vincent's house to study my Driver's License but we ended up watching Sherlock and Louie before deciding that we'd go out with the band tomorrow and he ended up staying at my place and I didn't want to let him see me blog soooo...
Welp, today we went out with the band to go ice skating but... we missed the time to ice skate... so... yeah, so much for that. We ended up finding a jamming studio and then realizing all of us are really, really rusty cos' none of us have really been practicing. Gave that up, went for Bowling instead.
I feel bad making fun of Darren all the time. But I can't stop myself because it's so easy to twist everyone's words into a joke about his fats or his face. And he can't insult me back because he's not that good. I feel bad. I really do. But. Can't stop. Damn. But maybe he's feeling what I feel when Shirleen makes fun of me and I can't make fun of her back because I can't use the gay jokes I use on guys on her. Hmm... I suppose restraint is something I should start working on.
And Natasha said that it's not easy to talk with me.
Really? It is? Did she mean that as a joke? Was she serious? I-I-I don't know...
Q_Q If I really am hard to talk to... I... I... A-Am I hard to talk to?
This is very demoralizing. I want to be easy to talk to :(
What am I doing wrooooooooong D:
A bit of family politics here and there. Dad's side wants to invite my siblings and I over for a celebratory party but my mom's pissy that they only call us over whenever it's convenient for them and any other time they don't give half a fuck. Guess I've to stick with my mom on this one.
Welp, today we went out with the band to go ice skating but... we missed the time to ice skate... so... yeah, so much for that. We ended up finding a jamming studio and then realizing all of us are really, really rusty cos' none of us have really been practicing. Gave that up, went for Bowling instead.
I feel bad making fun of Darren all the time. But I can't stop myself because it's so easy to twist everyone's words into a joke about his fats or his face. And he can't insult me back because he's not that good. I feel bad. I really do. But. Can't stop. Damn. But maybe he's feeling what I feel when Shirleen makes fun of me and I can't make fun of her back because I can't use the gay jokes I use on guys on her. Hmm... I suppose restraint is something I should start working on.
And Natasha said that it's not easy to talk with me.
Really? It is? Did she mean that as a joke? Was she serious? I-I-I don't know...
Q_Q If I really am hard to talk to... I... I... A-Am I hard to talk to?
This is very demoralizing. I want to be easy to talk to :(
What am I doing wrooooooooong D:
A bit of family politics here and there. Dad's side wants to invite my siblings and I over for a celebratory party but my mom's pissy that they only call us over whenever it's convenient for them and any other time they don't give half a fuck. Guess I've to stick with my mom on this one.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
1st November - The Amazing Race
We finished the first checkpoint in a flash because it was right next to the start point. But hell started right on the second. Our team couldn't figure out the puzzle (neither did shitloads of people) so we ended up running and sprinting around the school following the misguided directions of the many helpers and wasted away half the time.
Ended up running throughout the whole race to make up for it. Man, my legs are sore! Cleared 3 more stations, we were so gonna lose.
Then during the prize presentation, our team's name was called at first place. What the fuuuuuck?! Surely there were other teams that scored more than us! What the hell!
The teacher-in-charge said it was because we sweat the most but still whaaaaaaat. Ah fuck it, I ain't complaining. I pinched myself the Doritoes from the prizes and proceeded to Bishan for Latin Dance smelling like man and sweat.
Can't escape Joe's grasp on male dancers. I'm busy with my FYP but she's still forcing me to perform next year. Ahhhhh bugger. God damn. I'm a terrible latin dancer lol
Gotta learn some Samba or Rumba or something. Lots of ass shaking. I can't seem to get it right. It's so... weird. Chacha and Jive were pretty straightforward but this dance needs real child-bearing hips and my hips and anything in between it only provide the ingredients!
Bah. Reached home, and then looked up ITE AMK's location just to be sure where it is and HOLY MOTHERFUCK it's like 4 bus stops away from my house. Like OMG YES. I can't wait to move to the new campus next year. TIME TO SLEEP LATE FUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAAH
Ended up running throughout the whole race to make up for it. Man, my legs are sore! Cleared 3 more stations, we were so gonna lose.
Then during the prize presentation, our team's name was called at first place. What the fuuuuuck?! Surely there were other teams that scored more than us! What the hell!
The teacher-in-charge said it was because we sweat the most but still whaaaaaaat. Ah fuck it, I ain't complaining. I pinched myself the Doritoes from the prizes and proceeded to Bishan for Latin Dance smelling like man and sweat.
Can't escape Joe's grasp on male dancers. I'm busy with my FYP but she's still forcing me to perform next year. Ahhhhh bugger. God damn. I'm a terrible latin dancer lol
Gotta learn some Samba or Rumba or something. Lots of ass shaking. I can't seem to get it right. It's so... weird. Chacha and Jive were pretty straightforward but this dance needs real child-bearing hips and my hips and anything in between it only provide the ingredients!
Bah. Reached home, and then looked up ITE AMK's location just to be sure where it is and HOLY MOTHERFUCK it's like 4 bus stops away from my house. Like OMG YES. I can't wait to move to the new campus next year. TIME TO SLEEP LATE FUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAAH
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
31st October: Start up!
Today itself was a pretty sleepy day. It rained and everything, and I found myself falling asleep most of the day.
Surprisingly, I came to school really energetic despite oversleeping, but sitting next to my sleepy partner Shirleen, I started feeling sleepy too.
So I managed to do... a little bit of work today. Drew out a character map for the Wing Chun character I did yesterday but forgot to save. And after that I was pretty much too drained to do anything.
Slept throughout the whole of lunch on a bench somewhere in school, and then it started raining real heavily. I had already woken up at some point when it was still drizzling, but I was way too lazy to get up, hahahaha XD Only when it started pouring did I pack up and make it to class.
I was late for the Game Packaging class, but I had already finished this week's assignment the week before, so... there wasn't much for me to do at all anyway, other than stare into blank space and bug Shirleen to work harder. I tried helping, but it's a bit difficult, you know? When your skill levels are so far apart, it's hard to teach because the disciple just doesn't understand the concepts. Gavin seemed pretty keen to learn though. He's pretty damn hardworking, I think I can teach him just by demonstrating. I feel like such a good senior =w=
The day ended just like that. Tomorrow's the Amazing Race for the new ITE AMK campus. Wonder if parkour'll give me any advantage.
Oh, the cute girl junior from the next GDD batch waved to me today. Pity I had to run off. Daaaayum.
Surprisingly, I came to school really energetic despite oversleeping, but sitting next to my sleepy partner Shirleen, I started feeling sleepy too.
So I managed to do... a little bit of work today. Drew out a character map for the Wing Chun character I did yesterday but forgot to save. And after that I was pretty much too drained to do anything.
Slept throughout the whole of lunch on a bench somewhere in school, and then it started raining real heavily. I had already woken up at some point when it was still drizzling, but I was way too lazy to get up, hahahaha XD Only when it started pouring did I pack up and make it to class.
I was late for the Game Packaging class, but I had already finished this week's assignment the week before, so... there wasn't much for me to do at all anyway, other than stare into blank space and bug Shirleen to work harder. I tried helping, but it's a bit difficult, you know? When your skill levels are so far apart, it's hard to teach because the disciple just doesn't understand the concepts. Gavin seemed pretty keen to learn though. He's pretty damn hardworking, I think I can teach him just by demonstrating. I feel like such a good senior =w=
The day ended just like that. Tomorrow's the Amazing Race for the new ITE AMK campus. Wonder if parkour'll give me any advantage.
Oh, the cute girl junior from the next GDD batch waved to me today. Pity I had to run off. Daaaayum.
This is the journey.
So... this is the first post.
Recently, lots of events have been happening and they've got me thinking
That every day, any day, could be my last.
Sounds like a bit of paranoia, even to myself. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure no one who died unintentionally saw it coming (unless it was a slow, agonizing death).
I don't know. It could be me next. And it's quite frightening, the thought itself.
I have dreams I want to fulfill. I have goals that I want to reach. I have people whom I want to meet. I have a girl out there somewhere that I want to cherish. I have a future that I want to see.
And even though no way in hell do I want to die, it might happen.
So the idea of starting a blog came from nowhere (well, actually it came from House M.D. Season 4 Episode 1 but using a diary would be pretty awkward, so...), and I thought I should blog about my thoughts every day. It'll probably be hard to come up with some content to type out every day, especially when my life's so boring and mundane, but... if I make it enough of a habit, maybe when my life gets interesting, it'll start getting real colorful! :D
Anyway, this is the beginning of my blog journey. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Recently, lots of events have been happening and they've got me thinking
That every day, any day, could be my last.
Sounds like a bit of paranoia, even to myself. But the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure no one who died unintentionally saw it coming (unless it was a slow, agonizing death).
I don't know. It could be me next. And it's quite frightening, the thought itself.
I have dreams I want to fulfill. I have goals that I want to reach. I have people whom I want to meet. I have a girl out there somewhere that I want to cherish. I have a future that I want to see.
And even though no way in hell do I want to die, it might happen.
So the idea of starting a blog came from nowhere (well, actually it came from House M.D. Season 4 Episode 1 but using a diary would be pretty awkward, so...), and I thought I should blog about my thoughts every day. It'll probably be hard to come up with some content to type out every day, especially when my life's so boring and mundane, but... if I make it enough of a habit, maybe when my life gets interesting, it'll start getting real colorful! :D
Anyway, this is the beginning of my blog journey. I hope you enjoy your stay.
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