There was school today. And I resolved myself to not do anything for the whole day. No work, even though I was mentally beating myself up for being unproductive. No playing games for the intention of clearing them or being pro. My whole day HAD to consist of me being utterly fucking useless.
Well, I did finish my website for Game Packaging Design but... eh.
I just read from Bartender that sometimes, a little futility is good for the soul. And it worked. The urge to do work built up inside me so much that I realize it was the urge out of duty. I forgot why I took up this course to begin with again. And now that I know, I am psyched for tomorrow. Something I haven't felt in a long time. I picked up Game Design because I wanted to be a Game Designer. Because I enjoy creating games. I'm not slaving away at my Final Year Project for results or because the teachers are bugging me for progress. It's because I want to. I want to make something nice. Something fun. I forgot how to have fun with what I was doing and I ended up being a robot. That's why the past week I had been feeling so lost when doing work.
So hooray for futility! Yay! Restoring all my spirit points or something, I dunno XD
Sometimes, you have to stop and just drop whatever you're doing and just stay in the moment. A little bit of nothing helps to guide you back in place.
It's 2AM, I'm probably still gonna be late for school though. But heck. I'm ready to do work, and not out of obligation this time. It's because I enjoy it. WOOHOOOOO!
I have this hunch I may be cockblocking someone's love attempt for an upcoming overseas trip but I'm not sure. I've never been very good with the whole 'love' thing, density and everything. Uhmm...
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