Isabelle brought up her old blog today, so I thought to take a look at this one too. The stuff in here's still too recent and too embarrassing to show off just yet, but maybe I should update this a little. Life has changed a lot in a month, anyway.
It's looking good, it's looking real good. I'm drawing a lot these past few days. Recently won the Indie Game Contest 2014, 1st place! It's not Grand Prize, but it's 1st! That's like runner-up! My game design ideals work against the world, and I am so, so proud. Ever since I won that, everything looks a lot brighter. It comes with the sense of achievement, I guess.
Friends seem to be having some tough times, but we've been talking a lot. In any way possible, I still want to continue helping them tackle their problems. I'm not even remotely close to a great role model, nor am I a person who knows the human emotion like the back of my hand, but I've found that if I have the ability, or rather, dare to, smash down the walls people hold around them, then as much as possible, use it with as little hesitation as possible. I know the feeling of needing someone there when I'm at my worse. It's not an answer you'd realize yourself either, but I've been saved by it, and being an idiot true and true, I can lend it to others too. I might be the only who can.
The friends I've met now are infinitely precious to me. Isabelle, Melvin, Jeff, Shawn, Mato, Inez, Liana, Guo An, Joseph. I would go through any lengths just to help them in any way. This sentiment had never changed, really. I would always gladly go the lengths for anyone precious to me, even if the lineup did change as time passed. There have been times where I did have other agenda, I'd admit, but I believe where I stand for them had always been for good. They may be having tough times, but I wish for the strength to be able to help them all out!
As for relationships, it'd be a lie to say I wasn't interested... but... I have been conscious of the attention of certain ladies around me recently, and I'm hesitant on taking them up on their offer. It's not like I don't like them. It's just I've come to realize that I like everyone equally as much. Telling me to choose someone to be partial and special to... it's a hard decision. I couldn't make that decision. Sometimes the indecision wrecks me though. Without a doubt I'd love to be exclusive, there's a certain different kind of fulfilment that comes from being special to someone, and vice versa. But if I were to risk friendships because of it? Maybe it isn't worth it. Surely I might come to an answer eventually. For now, there are bigger problems than loneliness, and greater things to experience.
I saw some old photos. I've grown older. But I've definitely grown wiser too. There have to be greater things to fill this blog with than shitty rants. Wouldn't want this to be a blog I'm ashamed of.
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