8th May - Molehills

I didn't have school today, but I went anyway. I had Japanese club activities at 3pm, but it appeared some of my friends were in school, so I decided to head down. Ashley, Syai, Jeff and Nas were there. Ugh, Nas. He really blew things up today. There was a Dance Central competition going on, and he wanted to win that Xbox 360. The thing is, he had the high score until we went down a second time to see a girl reach an extremely insane score of 3,000,000. At that point he really snapped. I tried the game again with him, but he didn't reach remotely close, probably because he was playing on Beginner. Either way, he totally blew up on the way to the 5th floor, where Syai and him needed to go for their interview. Blaming the people running the booth for not telling him he could choose his difficulty. Whining and bitching and basically throwing the blame anywhere but on himself. Oh god, I raised my voice and told him to stop it, that if he wanted the prize so bad he could just go back and play again and again. Syai was the unfortunate witness of it all, and I'm sorry to have raised my voice around the poor timid girl. Eventually I argued enough for him to calm down. And then he started going on about people hating him (with good reason). I gave him some advice, tips and philosophies on how to make himself more likable. I made up a few stories, but so long as he got it. I hope.

Syai reported to everyone that I snapped. I didn't! I wasn't angry the least bit. I just raised my voic- okay fine, maybe I did get frustrated a little bit. I suppose this is what me 'snapped' looks like to people whom I've only showed my calm, calculative side. Oh, the day when I get genuinely angry. I've been reflecting on my lack of feelings a lot, and I think that I'm just bottling them inside. That I have an automatic bottle-up-my-emotions function, so I don't get really upset, or dejected, or desperate. One day, that dam will burst. And all of emotions will wreck havoc on my mind so hard I can't even fathom what I would do then. And I pray that day doesn't come.

Back on love forecast, I find Joey very, very attractive, the way she's so expressive. Again, I'm not going for a relationship just yet, but I'm just realizing that expressive girls really nab my attention. Aww yeah.